Posted by: dylanemrys | January 13, 2008

Twins Separated At Birth…Married

An interesting, but incomplete article was released on BBC news about twins that were given up for adoption, but not told about the fact they were twins. They met as adults and felt an “inevitable attraction” and didn’t find out they were related until after they were married.

I find this very sad. I wonder how they found out, and I wonder if they knew they were adopted at all.

You can read the article here.

I am not surprised however, that they were attracted to each other. Twins carry an amazing bond, lived and grew together for nine months (give or take), and have very intimate relationships. Even if not remembered intellectually, we remember our prenatal experience. Adoptees know they are adopted even if not told – usually a feeling or a sense of not belonging to the family. These twins probably knew someone was missing in their lives and when they met felt completed.

Not having all the correct information however, the bond and connection they shared was tragically misinterpreted.

Their multi-layered loss can be resloved with some awareness about how important that early time was…and in order to prevent things like this happening – not just with twins, but with any adoptee that wonders “If I go on a date with this person, am I dating a relative?” Information needs to be given to the adoptees about their origins.

Even better, awareness that even as unborn and newborn infants, they are conscious and sentient, and what happens to them matters and imprints in their cells, psyche and neurobiology needs to be more prevalent.

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Responses

  1. It is doubly tragic for them, in a sense.

    I have long been fascinated by the “mechanics” of attraction, and the way we interpret that happens when we feel a connection to someone else. In these poor people’s case, there was clearly a profound sense of “connection” that probably felt like the sort of soulmate link we all dream of… and yet, it was tragically genetics, misinterpreted.

    It’s sad that the world so often ignores the part of existence that “can’t be seen,” and yet has such monumental impacts on our lives…

  2. I agree Peter, however I don’t think it was simply “genetics” that they connected through…growing together in the womb like that they are more intimate spiritually, emotionally, behaviorally as well as genetically.

    I do think they probably felt a “soulmate” link…in fact they probably are soulmates if one chooses to define that as deeply connected at the soul level and not just romantically.

    I lost a twin before I was born, and before I knew about him, I was searching for a man to fill that space…of course no man ever lived up to that level of connection. There is no relationship that is closer than that of twinship….and until I grieved my brother not being with me in this life (physically), I couldn’t really accept love from someone else and be satisfied.


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